Distractions Come Easy to Me

Generally, I am a fairly organized person.

I arrive to things on time, I don't miss appointments, I don't forget homework.

However, there is definitely a dichotomy in the things that I do during any given week. There are things in my life that I feel I have to do, and things that I enjoy and want to do.

When these two categories intersect: bliss. But it seems that more often than not (and especially lately) these options come more and more in conflict with one another as they battle for my time, energy, and attention.

And so daily, I have to make choices. I am definitely finding that I have heaped more onto my plate this semester than will be easy to handle, and so I have to keep to schedules and regularly decide what can stay and what can go. I can't participate in five different Bible studies -- however much I want to. I do have to make time for class amidst all the hours of work each week, even though that's the first thing I would want to cut from my list, normally.

But recently I've been noticing that I have been creating projects for myself to work on that, in general, are keeping me from getting other things done or (even worse) are keeping me from the sleep that these days is as precious as gold.

But instead of finishing up these projects in quick time, I just keep adding more and more to the "fun" pile, without allowing space in any other area for these things to actually get done. So I paint 3D tree paintings. I buy bikes that need work to fix up. I have band rehearsal and write songs and plan to record. I buy books by the hundreds.

And now it's getting to the point in the semester where these "harmless hobbies" are beginning to be my outlet for the time and energy I should be putting in to studying, resting, fixing things at the house, and being with my roommates. So I feel guilty about painting my tree painting! But....I would just really rather paint than read Comm research journals.

Maybe this is senioritis. Maybe it's just the constant tension between work and play that I will experience all my life. Maybe I'm just looking for some distraction.

Whatever it is, I'll probably just keep missing sleep so I can keep my hobbies intact. Because if art, music, literature, roommates, bikes and sleep can't coexist, well, I'd rather be distracted than live without them.