The Post

Today I went to visit my sister, Anna, and friend, Charles, at their mutual place of employment - Great Harvest Bread Co.

I love Great Harvest for several reasons.

#1 - free samples when you walk in the door. Not dinky, Sam's-sized samples - but legitimate slices of warm bread with butter.

#2 - Everything is organic and homemade and delicious. You can watch them grind the wheat into flour right there in the store! It's like going back in time.

#3 - You can sit in there forever and drink all the free water you want.

So I did all of these things on this particular visit.

They also have a wide selection of newspapers from around the country that you can borrow to read while you are there.

I don't think I know very much about things that are going on in the world. I hear about things here and there, and if I hear a little about something that sounds big I might go searching for some extra information on Wikipedia or CNN.

So today, after reading through most of the New York Times while enjoying my Charles-made sandwich and snickerdoodle cookie with Christmas-colored sprinkles, I thought, "Huh, maybe I should know more about things."

So I think I might order to take the paper at our house. It seems like an investment in knowledge. And as much as I'd like it, the Oklahoma Daily simply will never really provide much breaking news.

What do you think? Is the newspaper on its way out the back door, with blogs and online news becoming the new way of life?

[ Sometimes I think sitting on trains . ]

Paper of length: 15 pages

Group Project and Presentation Value: 30% of final grade

Piano pieces memorization process: 1 of 2

Piano performances upcoming: 3 and a lesson

Vocal jury approaching: Thursday and a lesson

Final examination preparation: 0 of 2

Viruses currently permeating my body: >1

It's that time of year. Everything is happening at once and I am not prepared for most of it. My eyelids are heavy and I don't see my house in the sunlight. My body has succumbed to sickness, as my immune system has inevitably been caught off its guard. It was probably trying to catch some Zs that I've been depriving it of.

On a side note, my mother asked me for my Christmas wish list. It did not take me long to recognize the theme of this list has quickly become: things that will make a cold person warmer. This is probably unrelated to the fact that I am cold nearly 24 hours a day. I won't miss winter when it is gone.

It's time for this part to be over. I'm ready. Bring it on, please.

A Fear, A Truth, A God, A Gift

This was written as a facebook note by my freshman self almost three years ago to the day. I thought about it as I watched this holiday come and go again and decided to republish it on this forum. Enjoy, friends.

------------------------------------------------

I've heard a lot of different opinions on Halloween.
From people who are adamantly against the celebration of it.
To those who are indifferent, and whose only qualm might be the occasional cavity that resulted from the evening.
To those who are the first in the door of Wal-Mart as soon as the costumes hit the shelves.
So I've been contemplating, what is it about Halloween that we are afraid of?

Growing up, Anna and I could annually be found decked out in (very often, matching) costumes which our mother had either purchased or made by hand. I believe at one time or another I was a pumpkin, a pilgrim, a prairie girl, a princess, princess leah, and other things, which for some unknown reason I cannot currently recall. For us, Halloween was a holiday looked forward to for its fun costumes and loads of free candy.

Going to Christian school, the debate over the value of Halloween was a hot topic at least once a year. I encountered, maybe for the first time, children whose parents had raised them to associate Halloween with evil spirits, devil worship, seances, and all things evil and godless.
Not to discount the associations these things might have with Halloween, but I think there is more to the story.

I was talking with a dear friend of mine this past week, who very thoughtfully said, "Halloween is the most Christian holiday we celebrate. People show up at your door, and you give them candy. For NO REASON. It's a perfect picture of grace."

I think that's beautiful. There is no need for fear of a holiday we feel is "satanic." The origin of Halloween is from "All Hallow's Eve" or "All Saints Eve." It was not to honor evil spirits, but to honor those steadfast in the faith. It, like all things in our world, has declined and been corrupted, but look even at our celebration of Easter! Easter should be the MOST Christian holiday, but how do we celebrate it? By...hiding Easter eggs...? We should not fear the evil, for it has no power over us, how much less should we fear some holiday!

Tonight at RUF we sang "A Mighty Fortress is Our God," a well-known hymn of the Reformation (a holiday which we celebrate as All Saints Day, falls the day after All Saints Eve). The third verse reads like this:
And though this world, with devils filled
Should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph through us:
The Prince of Darkness grim,
we tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure,
for lo, his doom is sure,
One little word shall fell him.

This just gave me one final encouragement that we do not have to fear the evils of this world, whether they come in the form of actual demons or college students dressed as demons. We can celebrate and rejoice in the fact that these things have been defeated, and they have no stronghold in us.

Demonstrate grace to the children in your neighborhood.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject.
These are some of mine.

Oh yes, and the gift.

Paralyzed by Fear

I feel fairly certain that this will not be the last time that I will write about things I learn from watching and interacting with the children at work. There are too many things that are beautiful about their hearts and their lives and experiences, and it's awesome getting to be a part of that.

Wednesday afternoon, my free zone station was the playground. Three 4 and 5 year olds wanted to play there, and so it was easy for me to let everyone do their own thing while I kept an eye out for each of them.

One of them was a precious, timid four-year-old girl who had never come to our program before. She was shy and nervous and quiet, but once we got on the playground she was everywhere at once.

After she and her brother had their fill of the slides, stairs, and other toys on the main playground, they moved over to the stand-alone monkey bars that were nearby. She is a little, little person, and so I stayed close by as they adventured on the monkey bars and acted as a spotter to try to keep the potential for injuries to a minimum.

After mastering the monkey bars and growing bored with these as well, she followed her brother over to a kind of upright monkey bar ladder that was close by. Without hesitation, she climbed each rung to the very top. I looked up at her face just as she reached the top rung, and saw the look in her eyes just in time to see a look of absolute terror cross her face.

She had gotten to the top, reveled momentarily in her accomplishment -- then looked down. The ground was a lot farther away from her than when her feet stood on it. She couldn't possibly make it back on her own. She couldn't move. Every muscle in her body went tense and the only thing she could think to do was cry.

If this story were a gospel parallel I would talk about how we all reach that top rung at some point and realize we can't move forward or backward on our own. I would mention that we reach a point where the only way we will get ourselves to a safe place is if someone rushes to our aid. I would go on to tell you that this is exactly what happened in the four-year-old story, and that she needed my help to get out of this situation and I helped her down each rung of the ladder until she was safe on the ground.

But then I would be Jesus in this story. So this isn't what we're doing.

What remains true regardless is that fear truly can be paralyzing. It can keep you from telling the truth or admitting your opinions. It can prevent you from telling someone how you really feel or from taking a chance on something you don't think will ever happen. It can make you hesitate to ask forgiveness or make you reluctant to request an apology. It's a feeling we know all too well, and is one that has incredible potential to handicap our interactions with one another. The question we remain faced with is whether you will climb down from the place where fear takes you prisoner or if you will stay there, crying and helpless, until you are rescued. Either way you choose, there's no denying that you need deliverance.

It's Possible that I'm Losing My Mind

So far today:

6:50 a.m. The time that my first alarm went off.

7:10 a.m. The time that I should have gotten out of bed.

7:21 a.m. The time I got out of bed.

7:26 a.m. The time that I left my house wearing my pajamas and a Columbia fleece.

7:30 a.m. The time that I paid a dollar to park in the Elm Street Garage.

7:32 a.m. The time that I arrived at Catlett for Jazz Band Rehearsal.

8:24 a.m. The time I left Catlett and headed home for a nap.

8:48 a.m. The time I remembered that I had a class at 9:30 in addition to my class at 10:30.

9:05 a.m. The time that I should have left my house if I were walking to my 9:30 class.

9:17 a.m. The time that I should have left my house if I were driving to my 9:30 class.

9:18 a.m The time that I made plans to watch Glee with friends at 8:30 tonight.

9:25 a.m. The time that I left my house to drive to my 9:30 class.

9:27 a.m. The time that I realized I needed to park in the Union garage to make it to my class on time.

9:28 a.m. The time that I pulled into the Union Parking Garage.

9:29 a.m. The time that I realized I had left my wallet at home and that I had no money to get out of the Union Parking Garage.

9:34 a.m. The time I arrived at my 9:30 class.

10:05 a.m. The time that I texted Briana to see if she was on campus and had any money with her so I could retrieve my car.

10:16 a.m. The time that I found Briana and discovered that she had left her wallet at home as well.

10:19 a.m. The time that I coincidentally ran into Claire Zeorlin and embarrassingly asked her if she had any money with her so I could retrieve my car.

10:26 a.m. The time I accepted temporary defeat and went to class.

10:32 a.m. The time that I stopped paying attention in my 10:30 class.

10:50 a.m. The time that Laura offered to bring my wallet to campus.

11:46 a.m. The time that I remembered I have a group project meeting at 8:30 tonight and cannot watch Glee at that time.

12:28 p.m. The time that my parking garage tab reached $8.00.

12:29 p.m. The time that I left in the middle of my 27 person class to meet Laura outside to retrieve my wallet.

1:21 p.m. The time I finally drove my trapped car out of the parking garage.

1:24 p.m. The time I decided I had time to go home for lunch before I met Doug at 2:00.

1:36 p.m. The time that I sat down to eat my lunch.

1:40 p.m. The time Doug texted me telling me he was waiting because I was supposed to meet him at 1:30.

1:48 p.m. The time I arrived at Plaid to meet Doug.

2:45 p.m. The time that I should have left Plaid to get to class on time.

2:55 p.m. The time that I left Plaid and decided I had to pay to park again.

3:02 p.m. The time that I payed my tenth dollar of the day to park.

3:06 p.m. The time that I arrived at my 3:00 class and wondered how this day had gotten so completely out of control.

Children are a Hoot and a Holler

Things that are awesome about my job:

1. I get to play 16 hours a week. It's almost like being a part time kid. Getting back to my roots. Mm, yeah.

2. Last week, two of the boys at the middle school who have nicknames for each other decided they wanted to give me a nickname. Ratchet and Captain Harmony tried to learn things about me so they could find a nickname that would fit. After deciding they liked the military theme they had begun with the Captain, and finding that one of my top interests was music, they settled on calling me "Lieutenant Symphony."

3. On Monday I got to sing Kelly Clarkson, Hannah Montana, HSM, and Avril Lavigne songs with my middle school girls -- karaoke style.

4. Monday night at the elementary school we performed 17 major veterinary surgeries on 12 beanie babies, 3 stuffed animals, and 4 humans. Our tools for this included a pair of scissors and a plastic hammer, among standard medical instruments.

5. Tuesday night at the elementary school we formed a marching band and paraded our plastic drums, bells, tambourines, and egg shakers by the thousands around the gym for 45 minutes.

6. Tomorrow night we get to have a Girls Only pajama and movie party at our office - complete with all the slumber party essentials - but I still get to go home at 10 and sleep in my own bed. ;)

7. Last night we played a form of the game "Rock, Paper, Scissors" that was instead "Gorilla, Man, Gun," in which the Gorilla beats the Man, Man beats the Gun, Gun beats the Gorilla, and if you Tie, you Die. One of our students, who tends to be fairly emotional (much like the kid in the pool who cries when a leaf comes near him - usually unnecessary and over-dramatized) burst into tears in the corner because of the illogical nature of the fact that the "Man" is found superior to the "Gun," and he had thought himself on the winning side of that equation in his partner match. (Exclaiming between sobs: "She lied to mee....the man can't beat the gunnnn....*sobs*).

I'll try to remember to post more of these awesome things that the kids say and do, it's almost too fantastic for the blogosphere to be able to handle.

Two Perspectives on the Same World

At the beginning of September, I began working through Americorps at the Center for Children and Families here in Norman, OK.

I am working in their Neighborhood Centers program, which is an after school program that works in four different schools here in Norman. We work at two elementary schools and two middle schools four days a week.

Apart from my stint in the service of the Chick-fil-A half dozen, as well as a few brief weeks at Vacation Bible Schools galore, my experience with groups of children has been surprisingly little. High school age kids: yes, I'm all over that. I know how to handle those problems and how to interact appropriately. But I never had the camp counselor experience that so many of my friends have had, and so this consistent and regular interaction with littlest people is way out of the category of skills I would consider my "strong suits."

Now, don't get me wrong: I'm not bad with kids. They don't cry when they see me or suffer physical or emotional trauma every time we interact. I am inexperienced, but I have enough experience with people in general that knowing how to translate these tactics to be effective in handling little sized people is just a work in progress.

But as I was preparing for this year I knew that I wanted to accomplish two things: I wanted to serve other people and I wanted to grow in skill and experience.

So, in that case, working at a job where I don't feel like I know exactly what I'm doing is accomplishing the last half of that. It's granting me the opportunity to learn from people who are more experienced and to learn how to do things myself. And I mean, working with children is useful in essentially every possible business realm that I could enter in to -- because either you're interacting with children or you're interacting with adults who behave like children. From that perspective, this experience is invaluable.

But one thing that's been especially fascinating for me to observe so far is this: This summer in Seattle, I was working with youth ages 13-24. The only part of their story that I knew was their current circumstance - that they were homeless. Sometimes I knew about substance abuse, sometimes I knew about significant others. In rare cases, I knew some background of their past or some of their hopes and dreams for the future. But one of the questions I had in my mind most of the summer was where their stories had diverged from mine. Where had they started acting out in anger when I was being taught to forgive? Where had they stopped communicating with their parents when I was getting to know mine better? When did they spend their first night sleeping out of doors?

Working in the schools that we are, we see children from some of the lower income neighborhoods of Norman. I'm not suggesting that in 10 years these children will be homeless. But I do recognize that some of them are angry and violent with one another - at 10 years old. Some of them have absolutely no regard or respect for adults or for one another. Some of them make sexual or drug references in conversation - at 7 years old. We know that some of them have witnessed or been victim to domestic violence in their homes - at 5 years old.

And through these observations -- even in just the first week that I have been working -- I feel that I am starting to get some answers to my summer-long question. The anger didn't appear overnight. They didn't get upset over the outcome of a football game, punch someone in the face, and spiral downwards from there. Their lives have been more difficult than I could ever imagine from the moment they were born. They have encountered evils that I can only shudder at and try to push from my mind.

People are hurting. Children are hurting. Teenagers are hurting. College students, adults, parents, me. I can't heal the children I see twice a week. I can't "fix" the broken hearts of the youth I spent a summer with. I also can't repair the church, RUF, or my own heart.

This can be disheartening. It can be discouraging. But it can make us yearn for the day when all of this world will be healed - when "everything sad is going to come untrue." Freedom is coming, friends. Every morning brings us closer.

Unimaginable Coincidence

An unintentional reference to the subject of the current "Homewrecker" fiasco, for those of you who know to what I am referring. If you don't, ask for the story immediately.

http://www.blogger.com/posts.g?blogID=6568265790217108712&searchType=ALL&txtKeywords=&label=Camp+Boyfriend

The Last First Time

If you know me well, you know that there a few things in my life that I treasure above most other things. For now, we're call these the four Fs.

Faith

Family

Friends

and Football

There has not generally been much need to give explanation for the first three on that list, but for many, my love and adoration of this hot and sweaty pigskin toss has been difficult to comprehend.

Example 1

As freshmen, my roommate and dearest compadre, Jena, and I would attend each and every home football game, cheering wholeheartedly until the final seconds ticked off the game clock. One of Jena's favorite stories to recount of these days is that as soon as we would return to our cozy dormitory in Cate Center, I would open up my (now much older and greyish) creamy white Apple Macbook, click my toolbar bookmark to college football on ESPN.com, and proceed to read every bit of review, commentary, and highlight reel that I could find. On the game we had just watched. Yes, it was possibly a little over the top.

Example 2

I have travelled nearly 5000 miles to watch the Sooners play, and have watched them lose on each of those trips (three separate occasions in three separate locations in three separate seasons). Somehow, I am still planning to travel for at least three games this season, and a possible 4th if the bowl game we make is in any way desirable.

Example 3

I have sat through rain, blistering heat, snow and sunburns both big and small for this team. I'm essentially as dedicated to them as their mailman.

All this to say, this season, I got to watch the Sooners play their last first game of the season with me as a student. I can't believe how the time has flown by! I have never missed a home game, and don't plan to start this season. I have watched us win big and watched us suffer through tragic losses. I got to be Sam Bradford's facebook friend for about a year and a half until he removed his facebook account. I got to witness OU's most recent National Championship opportunity. It's been a good run.

I'm Sooner Born, and Sooner Bred. When I die, I'll be Sooner dead. Rah Oklahoma.

Distractions Come Easy to Me

Generally, I am a fairly organized person.

I arrive to things on time, I don't miss appointments, I don't forget homework.

However, there is definitely a dichotomy in the things that I do during any given week. There are things in my life that I feel I have to do, and things that I enjoy and want to do.

When these two categories intersect: bliss. But it seems that more often than not (and especially lately) these options come more and more in conflict with one another as they battle for my time, energy, and attention.

And so daily, I have to make choices. I am definitely finding that I have heaped more onto my plate this semester than will be easy to handle, and so I have to keep to schedules and regularly decide what can stay and what can go. I can't participate in five different Bible studies -- however much I want to. I do have to make time for class amidst all the hours of work each week, even though that's the first thing I would want to cut from my list, normally.

But recently I've been noticing that I have been creating projects for myself to work on that, in general, are keeping me from getting other things done or (even worse) are keeping me from the sleep that these days is as precious as gold.

But instead of finishing up these projects in quick time, I just keep adding more and more to the "fun" pile, without allowing space in any other area for these things to actually get done. So I paint 3D tree paintings. I buy bikes that need work to fix up. I have band rehearsal and write songs and plan to record. I buy books by the hundreds.

And now it's getting to the point in the semester where these "harmless hobbies" are beginning to be my outlet for the time and energy I should be putting in to studying, resting, fixing things at the house, and being with my roommates. So I feel guilty about painting my tree painting! But....I would just really rather paint than read Comm research journals.

Maybe this is senioritis. Maybe it's just the constant tension between work and play that I will experience all my life. Maybe I'm just looking for some distraction.

Whatever it is, I'll probably just keep missing sleep so I can keep my hobbies intact. Because if art, music, literature, roommates, bikes and sleep can't coexist, well, I'd rather be distracted than live without them.

On Ordination

Tonight I got to participate in and watch something that I had not ever seen before.

Brent Corbin, former OURUF student and RUF intern, was ordained this evening and installed as the campus minister for RUF at the University of Tulsa.

Now, some of you who know me might be aware that I get emotionally nostalgic over things on a pretty consistent basis. While this has certainly proved true during movies, concerts (some of you remember the JMayer debacle of Spring '10), stage performances, conversations (yeah...sorry about that... you know who you are), one-on-ones with Doug (this is true almost like clockwork), and football games (Josh Voth, feel free to make comments about the OU-Florida crisis of faith, as I already know you want to), I think that this tendency of mine has also been known to be present when I notice things that I find particularly beautiful about Christ and His Church.

In fact, some of you have even noticed that I sometimes find life happenings to be so profound that they are as potent to me as quality sermon illustrations -- and have in recent months begun to (possibly over)use the phrase "This is the Gospel" when such events take place and move me.

But the thing is, I love to acknowledge beautiful things as being beautiful. I think it's only fair and right that we do that. And for some reason, I have found that I often express this acknowledgment of beauty by shedding a few tears in its honor. And so I cry at weddings. I cry at concerts. And I cry during communion. Despite this outward display of emotion, these are some of my favorite things to participate in!

Tonight's service was a different kind of ceremony than I had been able to participate in before. I've seen baptisms before, where believers dedicate themselves and their families to God and his service. I've seen weddings before, where two people come together in love and join their lives to one another. Tonight's service was different than each of these, of course, but it shared certain elements and a certain sense of holiness and beauty that was attractive in its own way.

It was exciting to see leaders in the church from around the state come together to welcome a new leader to their team. It was beautiful to be reminded of the work of the Lord in Brent's life and to pray for that work to continue and extend to the community he was being called to serve. It was sobering to remember that the church and its leaders and fallen and broken, but that the Lord can use even broken vessels to accomplish his work. It was encouraging to see the community of churches and students from Tulsa and the university hopeful for a future that will bring healing and restoration to a ministry that has seen its fair share of inconsistencies and devastation. It was moving to see a man come before the congregation and pronounce his first benediction with a spirit of humility and tearful joy.

The church is broken, and campus ministries are no exception to this, of course. There is a Messiah who has come to redeem us in our brokenness. And not only does he call us to himself and free us from our captivity, but he then brings us together in relationship with one another and calls us to serve one another and to bring glory to him through worship and the teaching and hearing of his word. We serve a good, good God. And if anything should bring tears to your eyes, it is that he has been, is, and will be good to you.

Hallelujah.

Doesn't know whether to return to thekatietracyspot or remain on sleepyseattle and finds the changing between blogs metaphorical for her changing life

Doesn't even really remember what the Album Project was or how it possibly

could have had six episodes.

Feels disoriented and doesn't remember what she used to write about before she

wrote about sight seeing and space needles.

Is unsure whether her blog has readers and wonders whether the lack

of them is enough reason to unwrite.

Wonders about that article she read recently about blogs being the death of authors

and true writing and whether idealism is adequate reason to write or

adequate reason to not write.

Feels sure that if her blog has any readers remaining, it has most certainly lost them

by now.

Finds writing for the sake of others only slightly motivating and more than slightly an

obligation she will likely at some point begin to resent.

Feels certain that if she does not imagine up some interesting anecdote in the near

future this blog will become obsolete and all of these words left forgotten.

Just spelled forgotten with three "o's" and sees her potential future in writing to

be nothing but bleak at this point.

A Summer Diversion

Seattle inquisitors may divert to Seattle's newest travel blog:

www.hellosleepyseattle.blogspot.com

Courtesy of Katie Tracy Enterprises, Inc.

The Album Project, Episode Six

The end of one song, a whole second song, and the beginning of a third song were completed today, thanks to a long lunch and a cancelled class.

Just wanted you to know I hadn't given up or forgotten about this project yet. Song count is up to 9. We're nearly there, folks. Get ready for some contacting about studio time.

Who would come to an album release party?

The Album Project, Episode Five

Something you will not believe has happened. It has not been seen before and likely will not be seen again.

2 songs took shape this evening, in a little under 3 hours. Yes, that is productivity at its finest.

Song 1 is one that I am REALLY excited about. Its story is this:
A friend of mine (who will remain unnamed but you all who know who he is) has been lovingly nicknamed the "baby" (this being baby as in infant and not baby as in a pet name for a romantic interest) by two of my (also unnamed) roommates. This is a long story, and not relevant to the current story, so I will omit it. But as a joke one night when discussing songs, our "baby" friend suggested that I write a song about him in the form of a lullabye. I wasn't exactly ready to write about my actually-not-an-infant friend in terms that illustrated him as-an-actual infant, but I didn't hate the idea of writing a lullabye. So I went with it.

What it has turned to is more than I expected when I first sat down to attempt it. The lullabye is a lullabye in style towards the beginning and discusses sleep, but eventually it intensifies as the song goes on and towards the end you realize that the singer is likely singing this lullabye to a lover who has died. And even more so than that, the singer may or may not have killed said lover, and it may or may not have been an accident or on purpose.

WHOA. Yes. I went there. It's a haunting tune and I think it has a lot of dimensions and depth and I'm excited to see what people think about it. It's definitely different.

Song numero dos is the Peru Song I thought would likely materialize from Peruvian experiences. This song needs some slight revising but I think it paints a beautiful picture of our last evening in Peru and the culmination of what we were able to do throughout the week and what we were able to see the Lord working, so I'm excited to present this to people as well.

Things are coming along quite nicely! This is exciting.

KT

The Album Project, Episode Four

A new record was set this evening, as a new song took shape in just about 1.25 hours.

It's something that I didn't see coming, but nonetheless took shape pretty fluidly. This was exciting, and it is also exciting because I think it is a song that speaks truth and hope and those are the things that I want to be singing about.

It maybe could be interpreted as a war song, but it's not the war song as mentioned in Episode 3. That's not the main message, which I feel good about. We'll see what happens.

If you'd like an exclusive listen, a random drawing will be taken from the first 10 commenters, and the winner will have the opportunity to listen to the song live before the rest of the world. Trust me, this is an elite* privilege.

In other news, I leave the country for Peru in less than 12 hours. Thoughts and prayers are absolutely appreciated, and maybe even some well wishes that inspiration would be found? How awesome would it be to have a Peru song on the new album?

Oh yes, I get to see Amanda. I am lucky. Maybe there will be an Amanda song.

The Album Project, Episode Three

This episode of The Album Project comes to you "on location."

I sit in piano practice room #3. My intention was to come to the practice rooms to practice the songs I need to prepare for my midterm in my piano class next week.

I was, however, distracted by the idea of piecing together a third song for the infamous (by this I actually mean "not famous" and not "extra famous") Album Project, which fell out of priority last week when several school projects, an illness, and fundraising stood in the way.

I have now, for you, a conundrum.

I am currently working on a piece concerning my sentiments on war. This is not a topic I particularly like to soapbox on, but will if invited, and since this is, after all, my album project, I felt that the invitation had been extended.

So "The War Song" (as it will be referred to hereafter) has been impeded in its progress by this (seemingly) simple question: A major or a minor key?

While this may seem a question that would easily be answered through the evolution of the song, it seems that the song has reached a crossroads at which I must ask your help in discerning the proper way to turn. A minor key would express the emotion I feel that most of my words are trying to convey. However, no one (really) likes to hear angry white girls sing about injustice (go figure) so for this reason, I hesitated in making the final decision. There is a major key option, which would cause the audience to focus on the message of the lyrics and be less distracted by the medium through which it was being delivered. But would the message be cheapened altogether?

Thoughts, please. I stand befuddled.

The Album Project, Episode Two

Some people say that you can't rush art.

This isn't true, because I wrote a song in two hours yesterday.

But I've been pretty convinced for some time that it was true, which may have something to do with the fact that I've written very little in the last 2+ years. And also probably contributing to the fact that I've made very few attempts to write anything in the last 1+ year. If you can't rush art, that means art takes time, and honestly, I'm a fairly impatient person. Thus = laziness.

But! It's all irrelevant now, because you can rush art, as it turns out, which is exactly what I'm having to do with this album project in order to make it happen in the next 3 months.

So official song #2 took form yesterday evening. After scribbling some notes and two lines of lyrics at work in the evening, I ventured to the practice rooms to follow where the lyrics were leading me. About two hours later, I had a full 3.5 minute piece that I was not entirely ashamed of. Exclusive review party took place tonight post RUF, and the critics voted unanimously to keep the song on the album (this essentially means it didn't completely suck--in fact, they all emphatically loved it).

The song is quirky. But so am I. It's different. But it's me. It's written from my perspective on life right now, in this moment, and that is what I want this album to be. I want it to be honest and playful and friendly and quirky and me.

So that's what it will be.

The Album Project, Episode One

There is an album project.

Because there is an album project, I've decided there should be an album project blog, so that I will actually talk about the album project so that I will actually think about the album project so that I will actually work on the album project so that there will actually be an album.

On Friday (the 12th of February), song one for the album came into existence. In all actuality, it has been in pseudo-existence for approximately three years. Maybe 2.5 years. It was the summer of 2007, whenever that was.

It has been played for one other person on the face of the planet (that I can recall). That person is Malisa Morsman-Baker. Malisa Morsman-Baker heard this song the night that I wrote it. We were house-sitting (2nd best house-sitting experience of all time, and 2nd only to ChickfilA mansion house-sitting experience of '09), and we were really into drinking IBC rootbeers in the hot tub and pretending we were cool. This song was originally written about slash inspired by my "camp boyfriend," as it were, a relationship* that existed only for the sake of the camp closing banquet (to which you could bring a date) and spanned (though not continuously) from Summer of '06 to Fall of '07. You will probably hate the song more now that you know that.

The song has sat in waiting for the last _____ months because I didn't like the second half of the second verse and the entirety of the bridge. However, it was slightly different from the other songs I had written, but still sounded like me, and I still liked the rest of it. So it has hung around.

On Friday I remembered that two months ago I had re-written the second half of the second verse to something that I liked. I then tried to remember what I had made it. After some slight (but substantial) modifications, I think that I like it. I will have to listen to it about 102+ times to be sure, but for now I like it.

So the album project has its first song.

A (Possibly) Ambitious Project

¹rel·ish: \ˈre-lish\ n. [a group of students led by Doug Serven that meets every other Thursday afternoon to take part in leadership activities and other discipleship exercises with and for Reformed University Fellowship].

I am in Relish this semester. I was not able to participate last semester because of the Rob Snoops fiasco (see previous posts if you are lost at this point), which happened to unfortunately be scheduled at the same time. This semester, I arranged my schedule so that I could participate.

In Relish this semester, we are working on different projects. This past week, we had an art project that was very enjoyable, and for next week we have a poetry project due. For our large semester-long project, we were supposed to choose something which we have never done before and have always wanted to do--and do it.

I found this assignment to be a difficult one to accomplish. Generally, the things I want to do badly enough, and I also have the means to do, I do. So what did I have left?

After a myriad of possibilities and several potentially good ideas (and also a fair share of bad ones), I have made a decision. I am excited (I think). It will be challenging (I know).

I will write and record an album by the end of this semester.

I want as many of my friends as possible to be a part of this project. Be awaiting your invitation.

I MET ROB SNOOPS TODAY.

Holidaisies

This may be somewhat belated, but since there has been so much material to cover as of late, I've decided to add this to the mix even though its release is somewhat delayed. We'll make this less wordy than posts have been of late, unless of course you're assuming that pictures speak a thousand words, in which case, this post will be the most wordy this blog has ever seen. Interpret this as you will.

This has been one of the better holiday seasons in quite some time, which I credit almost entirely to the fact that I was not working at my former place of employment for the first time in FIVE YEARS. Five Christmases, Five Thanksgivings, Five New Years. It has been the most psychologically refreshing change in my life, honestly, and I don't know why I didn't do this sooner...? (Yes I do: It's because I'm usually broke). So here's a review:

The Tracy house was decorated for the occasion: Thanksgiving 2009

Two long tables in the living room--28 guests to fellowship together!

Pie credit goes to yours truly on these three--although I think there were close to 11 pies total once we were ready to eat. No such thing as too much pie?Pumpkin pie and eggnog. Holiday treats.Christmas open mic at Second Wind.The "F-Dubs" and I went ice skating at the outdoor rink in downtown Tulsa. Giant Christmas tree behind us! From L to R, Anna (Tracy), Rachel (Knorr), Me, Kali (Knorr).
Christmas Eve blizzard off our back porch. You can see the snow swirling in the light from the porch lamp. It was like that in the sky everywhere. Much like the below picture.
Same porch. More visible snow in your face.Christmas Morning--didn't have to dream of a White Christmas this year.Christmas Dinner--what a feast!Christmas Apple Crisp--another TK creation. What can I say, I'm basically Rachael Ray.Christmas porch shot; classic.Stockings hung by the chimney with care.Me & Mama.At first dad and Anna were making pterodactyl poses. Then the family made an attempt to take an artistic picture. I might make more sense to you now. Love them.The fam.Cakes from our MLK Day party. Funfetti frosting for celebration--chocolate and vanilla marble swirl cake for black and whites coexisting and loving each other.
Dream.

A "Hard" "Day's" "Work*"

Today I babysat for six Greeno Chick-fil-A empire heirs and heiresses from approx. 5am until approx. 4pm. Their parents were going (and went) out of town.

Some people consider babysitting work. Sometimes it is hard work. In my case, it is nearly always "hard" "work." As in I have to make 9 grilled cheeses before I actually get to eat one. Or a screaming four year old won't let me wipe the chocolate off her face. Or I can't get the TV remote to work for several minutes and my arm gets tired from being in the air.

But usually I eventually get a grilled cheese, the screaming tends to stop at least temporarily, chocolate faces get cleaned, and I can almost always get the TV to eventually allow me access to the hundreds of channels I will probably not watch after flipping through them all.

Today, at "work," this is what I did:

1. Dora. (x500 episodes--why does Nickelodeon have like 8 channels which play the same episodes throughout the day but at different times? Because they want to kill me.)
2. Letting the kids entertain themselves.
3. Aqua Sand. (?) Weird but Cool but really messy.
4. &hotdogs. Classic.
5. Duh.
6. Not exactly this. But we did make brownies.
7. I totally had the fun factory when I was a kid. Unfortunately, today, we did not. But still.
8. See number 2, while entertaining myself.

It's almost not fair that they pay me. How do I keep getting "jobs" like this?



It is actually awesome.

J'ai Lu, Decembre 2009

It's the last month of the year! I made it. I didn't quite make 4/month, but I put up a noble effort with a grand total of 37 books read for fun this year. It's been great, and I definitely want to keep it up.

I'm trying to decide whether to adjust my strategy at all. For the most part I was just choosing books based on my own interest or on recommendations from friends as I needed them. For this coming year, should I follow these same guidelines, or alter my approach: perhaps trying to read all Pulitzer prize winners, or all Nobel Prize for fiction winners? Maybe I could take suggestions and recommendations from friends and compile a list now? Is anyone interested in reading these reviews or has it been for my enjoyment alone? This is your chance to give feedback! Don't miss it. Speak now or face the possibility of further mind-numbing multi-part ramblings on my favorite topics... your fate is in your own hands at this point.

December was an interesting month for reading, especially considering I didn't finish a book during this month until December 24th. In fact, you can thank the legendary Blizzard of 'ought 9 that I even had the time or the patience to meet this month's quota at all. But each book was an entirely different genre and different experience, so it kept things interesting for this, the twelfth month of my adventure.

The Scarlet Letter (Hawthorne) – Apparently I’m forming a habit of reading classics that I probably should have read by this point in my life but have never gotten around to or have never been required to read. This particular story by Hawthorne was a truly fascinating read with a haunting story that puts forward many intriguing ideas about sin, guilt, and the young American church. While Hawthorne was very likely biased in his negative representations of the church, it certainly gives a fascinating perspective on the hypocrisy and hate that can often be found where love and forgiveness are meant to be practiced. (7)

Eve’s Revenge (Barger) – This is a book we read excerpts from in our Girls Bible Study this past semester. Barger explores some topics surrounding Biblical womanhood and being a woman in a male dominated culture as well as in a society that exploits female sexuality in an often degrading way. Definitely some interesting and encouraging points for any women interested in the topics, especially as a follow up to some of Serven’s talks this semester. (7)

Fargo Rock City (Klosterman) – This is the second book I’ve read by Klosterman (this year, even) and while it had an entirely different tone and feel from Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, I really thoroughly enjoyed it. Essentially, Klosterman is giving his real life perspective on the evolution of rock music from the 70s-90s. This is interesting for people who listen to rock music and for those who don’t. I fall into the latter category for the most part, and so reading his analysis of this music, what it meant to the people who made it and what it meant to the people who loved it, was really a look into a new world for me. I really enjoyed Klosterman’s witty insights as well as his perspective as a fan who was there when the bands of the era—Motley Crue, Van Halen, Guns N Roses—were trying to make it. Klosterman’s regular profanity and blatant sexual references continue, however, so I’ll rate it at least PG-13, but I’ll grade it an (8)

Infidel (Ali) – This is the autobiography of a young Muslim woman who grew up in Africa in the 1970s, and went on to cause an international scandal. Ali was able to escape an arranged marriage and moved to Holland, where she was able to acquire Dutch citizenship. She was later elected as a member of Dutch parliament, and sought to awaken the Western world to the atrocities being committed against Muslim women which she had been witness to throughout her life. This story is a detailed perspective on the life of women inside this religious institution, and Ali’s story truly is remarkable. (8)

In addition to spending a large amount of time reading these last few days, I have watched..several movies. I'm not normally a movie watcher unless I have an extraordinary amount of time to kill, so here are my grades for my winter-break film viewings:

A Muppet Christmas Carol A+
Ice Age 3 A+
Julie & Julia A-
Elf A++
Avatar A-
It's A Wonderful Life A++
The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past D-
Almost Famous A
Star Trek A
Bottle Shock B+
New York, New York D+
Sherlock Holmes A
The Fellowship of the Ring A
The Two Towers A-
Return of the King A


Here's to the nights we felt alive.

Battle Studies Review, Pt 4

This November, when Battle Studies was finally released near the five-year anniversary of John and I's introduction, I was anxious, for both entertainment and nostalgia's sakes', to hear the record I had been so long anticipating. John's first single from the album was released in early October, and when I first heard "Who Says," I honestly had immediate mixed feelings. While the song showed definite promise, it sounded almost too similar to two tracks on John's last album, Continuum, which already sounded a lot like each other: Stop this Train and The Heart of Life. Since I was hoping to see a more creative side of John emerge on this album, I remained skeptical after this song was released, even though I did like the acoustic feel that the song had, much like the early songs on the live album, Where the Light Is.

I pre-ordered the album in order to get benefits when ordering concert tickets, and chose to order the actual LP rather than the iTunes digital version, literally using the logic: "so I can give this to my children."

I have issues.

SO, when the "keepsake" album arrived just after its release, I put it in the player as my roommate and I drove to the nearby grocery store. The first track, "Heartbreak Warfare," which was released as the second single for the album (and the better one, in my opinion), is great. It morphs the sounds of classic John Mayer from the Heavier Things era with a sort of U2 sound which really works and is an excellent intro track, and I think what a lot of us were expecting to hear as the culmination of its predecessor albums. If the entire album was more along these lines, I'd give it an A++, hands down.

The following track, "All We Ever Do is Say Goodbye" is another glimpse at a promising tune. Mayer's falsetto says it all in this simple acoustic tune akin to much of what was heard on early Mayer recordings, but with a matured style which fits both the writer and the concept for the album well.

Classic Mayer reappears on tracks "Perfectly Lonely" and "War of My Life," and the final track, "Friends, Lovers or Nothing" follows more along the lines of the Continuum era bluesy style rather than the more pop sound seen in Mayer's early work.

Album Lows:
1. Mayer's attempted publicity stunt with popular teen country singer Taylor Swift is the worst mistake of this album.
This song is low quality, and Taylor's cameo appearance seems to serve no other purpose than to make Mayer's album appear to a younger teen demographic. This song does not belong on a Mayer album, it would have been more successful appearing on a Swift album, and it breaks up the flow that the album would have much more successfully achieved without it.

2. "Crossroads" cover would have been better suited on a different album.
While this track showcases the harder blues sound that appears on the Trio album and that John has verbally expressed greater interest in performing, the style does not mesh with any of the other tracks on the album and is always a surprising inconsistency with each listen. Not a bad song, just a wrong album choice.

3. "Do You Know Me" acts as a 2 1/2 minute interlude but doesn't seem to fit or make sense.
Seems like a filler and not very substantial.

Album Highs:
1. The most creative track on the album is successful in showcasing Mayer's ability and the level of creativity he is capable of.
The track, "Assassin," uses a variety of instrumentation as well as John's creative lyrical metaphors to communicate its message, and the end result is something unique and promising to the caliber of work John is able to produce.

2. The song Edge of Desire wins my vote as the most well written and overall best song on the album.
John's ability to connect with the human condition and to vocalize its deepest desires and fears comes to fruition in this unassuming song. The beautiful thing about this song is that it is FULL of emotion. It demonstrates the passion that Mayer is so very capable of conveying in his music, and drives itself powerfully into the hearts of every listener. This is the song I'm most looking forward to hearing live in March.

This has been a long time in coming, but here are my final words on the subject (which I'm sure you're all* very relieved to hear): The album was not what I expected. After three years of waiting for a studio album release, I was moderately disappointed. BUT, I didn't hate the album as a whole. It was not a bad album. There were several songs on it which I think can rival John's previous work as some of his best. But I think that there is no question that he's capable of much, much better. John is still my number one love. While he has come a long way from the chords of "Why Georgia," I think that he only has room to improve from here. This is a learning project, and I think while he made some mistakes, I think he did a lot of things write which affirm the promise of his gifts.

Overall, I give the album a B-.
John Mayer himself, I give an A++.




*Lindsey